Campaign 2008: Facebook Status Edition

Well, Senator Barack Obama is now President-Elect after a resounding victory on Election Day. And as expected, Obama's victory brought about a slew of emotions from all Americans. Some were excited and some were saddened. Some were inspired and some were scared. Some were proud and some were getting ready to move north.

Again, I try to be an independent when it comes to politics but I will put it out there that I did vote for Obama and am proud and excited he won. And as a Black man, inspired as well.

But on to the point of this post. As exciting as watching states turn red and blue was on TV and listening to the commentary of the so-called "experts", maybe the most exciting thing to watch on Election night were Facebook Status Updates. I found myself refreshing Firefox every minute to see the latest update from my friends. And so, for your enjoyment, I have compiled a list of my favorites, in order of when they happened. I am omitting the names because I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings by letting people know they said some of this stuff.

I made a Top 10 list with no comments and after it, all the best comments.

The Top 10:
1) ...is dreaming out a plan.. moving? This just isn't going to work for me. CONGRATS YOU F**K UPS... go abort all of your babies now.
2) ...is now sarah palin is going to have to resort to doing sex tapes. what a shame.
3) ...has already found a "Don't blame me, I voted for McCain" bumper sticker...
4) ...is debating waking up for work in the morning...might as well sign up for the gov't support obama has been promising for all the bums.
5) ...is amazed by the amount of idiots that voted for osama just bc hes black... and disregard hes a socialist muslim.. congrats america... you just ruined are count.
6) ...would like to thank the media, the fraudulent voters, the 19 year old girls without a political clue, the economically ignorant, and George W.
7) ...is IRON YOUR TURBANS... we're f***ed.
8) ...is i give him 5 days....biden 08!
9) ...was promised John Stamos was on the ballot
10) ...is I voted for Bill Clinton..

ALL THE BEST ARE BELOW (with my comments)

8pm to when Obama Wins Ohio
...enough already with the Obama street signs! I about hit 2 of those retarded ppl standing on the street corner. (well, retarded isn't a nice word)
...has lost faith with the "intelligence" of the human race. Moving to Canada if enough Americans are really this stupid. (uh oh, might lose a friend to Canada)
..."He gets votes from the left, gets votes from the right. That boy Obama, makes McCain look SHITE" (uh....what?)
...was promised John Stamos was on the ballot (haha, someone lied to you)
...Go Obama! Pray for the Obama family's safety, hatred and racism is still alive today (think most at this time were just praying he win first)
...is drinking to DeAngelo Hall getting cut and the Presidential Election (amen to both)
...is puttin back a 12-pack of Heineken, praying for democrat domination (sorry Republicans) (see above comment)
...is like wow a black president, it bout to go down, im bout to go crazy
...would like to thank the media, the fraudulent voters, the 19 year old girls without a political clue, the economically ignorant, and George W. (well, as a member of the media, you're welcome, i think)
...is thinking this election is O-V-E-R...Bush is nothing but a LAME DUCK finally.
...is I rock wit obama but i aint no politician - jay z. (thank God)
...is young America is irresponsible (well duh. just look at OU's Halloween)

Obama wins Ohio
...is yeah... now we're f***ed. you uneducated a**holes. (wait, did we accidentally elect Paris Hilton? Cause then we are)
...is waiting for the country to prove how big of an moron john mccain is. (can't be worse than Dubya)
...is IRON YOUR TURBANS... we're f***ed. (what if I don't own one?)
...is glad he voted absentee in Ohio instead of voting in Connecticut. (yeah, no lines...though i think he means somethin else)
...is you are all going to regret this.
...is breathing a huge sigh of relief. It's about damn time. Maybe we can get back to being leaders again. (yeah, that would be nice, considering everyone expects us to be)
...is shopping for homes in Canada. They are expensive, but at least with my new tax dollars I can put it towards a house and not s***ty Americans with no jobs. (hey now, i have friends that don't have jobs and they aren't that word)
...is for those of you who are threatening to move to Canada, just remember they have socialism (fact check please)
...is what the heck's a barack obama? (yeah, not a "presidential" sounding name but does sounds like a good name for a cocktail drink)
...is ashamed that idiot liberals are taking over america. be careful what you wish for. (yeah, they said that in that Pussycat Dolls song too)
...is amazed by the amount of idiots that voted for osama just bc hes black... and disregard hes a socialist muslim.. congrats america... you just ruined are count. (WOW...first, it's Obama. second, "ruined are count"? third, he's not Muslim. and lastly, that's just racist)

Obama clinches Presidency
...is living history.
...is debating waking up for work in the morning...might as well sign up for the gov't support obama has been promising for all the bums. (so that makes YOU a bum as well...)
...is i give him 5 days....biden 08! (that's just terrible)
...cannot wait to read the status updates from every single bitter Republican! (fun isn't it?)
...is congratulating Barack Obama on becoming the new President of the United States of America. (hey, someone being civil. nice)
...is waiting for people to realize their mistake in a few months. (well, considering Obama doesn't get sworn in until January, i think he means the mistake of 8 years of Dubya)
...is so happy she doesn't need to leave the country! go obama! (whew. that's good news)
...is cheers America. You made the right choice. We can finally get back to getting to the America we were all once so proud of. (all i can say is Cheers was a great TV show)
...would like to congratulate the mainstream media for electing Obama. Thank you for nothing. (wait, so those millions of votes were just from the media? wow, lot more peopl working in the media than i thought)
...is proud to have Barack'd a vote... President Obama yall... (nice play on words)
...is really weirded out by people running and screaming around town over Obama like he is a messiah or something. (yeah, that would be a bit weird but pretty sure that was the same reaction from Browns fans when they heard about Brady Quinn)
...is I voted for Bill Clinton (you can't do that)
...is wondering how our terrorist will run America. (he's a terrorist? really? missed that memo)
...is proud to be an American in the U.S.S.A. (United Socialist States of America) Obama Loves Johnny Rebal. (We added an S! Instead of socialist, I would've gone with "super")
...has already found a "Don't blame me, I voted for McCain" bumper sticker... (haha, i wish)
...facebook statuses cant do justice. this is so great. (amen)
...wft...like how does this happen? (wft? like what does that mean?)
...My President is Black...and no, that's not everything...but it's something that makes me PROUD today. (amen)
...says the white house has officially went BLACK (yea, that would be weird)
...can't stress enough, the importance of ringing in our new President Elect properly, by ordering the 2008 AJB Holiday Collection CD! See "About Me" for details! (shameless self promotion)
...is wondering...who wants to move to canada with me!?! i heard university of toronto is pretty sweet... (i heard that too. but i'm cool)
...is starting to get nervous.... we just made the anti christ the leader of our country. (he's the anti-christ? really? crap, i want my ballot back)
...is getting ready to move to the Bahamas. (now there's a place I'd move to. smart man)
...is quitting school and never working...IM A DEMOCRAT NOW. (no, you're out of work)
...is going to have to accept change. If change f***s up our country I will be the first to say I TOLD YOU SO. (the first? i'm gonna hold you to that)
...just heard the Days of Thunder and Crimson Tide theme songs at the McCain rally. Outstanding. (so so true)
...is now sarah palin is going to have to resort to doing sex tapes. what a shame. (yeah, a shame for the people who watch it)
...is still proud to be a republican. (good for you)
...is the Skins decided it last night. Today was just tying up loose ends. Yes Obama. (true. we didnt need to vote)
...is happy its all over, just not happy with the out come, the great thing about America is that we can vote again in four years. (aint america great!)
...is dreaming out a plan.. moving? This just isn't going to work for me. CONGRATS YOU F**K UPS... go abort all of your babies now. (wow. that seems extreme)
...is no second chance..enjoy your attempt at change. (yeah, since not changing is what America needs right?)
...is why be disappointed, the next 4 years can be any worse than the last. GO OBAMA! (gotta agree)
...thinks McCain made an excellent speech ... bring on Obama! (absolutely)
...thinks its funny that everyone wants to move to canada since they're twice as liberal. (and have yet to see a day with a President Obama)
...knew the majority of America was dumb but never thought they would prove it... Change is coming and Oh how omnious that is. (omnious = ominous. so are you in the majority or minority?)
...is looking for her vineyard in Italy because there is not a point to work hard for what you have anymore. (i dunno. what about pride? i always enjoyed that one)

After Obama's Speech
...can't believe the big mistake America has made...This is a sad day for America...and don't people have better things to do than hang out in a park in Chicago? (actually, it's a great day for America. think beyond politics. and what's better to do than watch a newly-elected President make his first speech?)
...is proud to be an American for the first time in a long time. (OK Michelle Obama)
...is kinda shocked by his family's really ignorant & racist comments about tonight's outcome. (damn shame)
...is going to bake some cookies....and calling off her plans to rent a place in mexico :) YAY OBAMA ♥ . (cookies? yummy)
...is pretty excited for all these cry babies to get to Canada! (yeah, guess that's less traffic on the road)
...is just glad the election is over. 16 hours in a newsroom, never fun. (amen to that)
...is extremely inspired :) (as we all should be, despite our race/political affiliation)

Hope you enjoyed it. And if I hurt someone's feelings, well, you kind of set yourself up for it by putting it on your facebook status. But this is America and we are free to express our opinion. Hakuna Matata.