As many of you know, OUIM sent officials to the National Flag Football Tournaments in New Orleans and Dallas. 4 officials went to New Orleans while 7 were in Dallas. In an effort to keep a running log of the trip, we instituted a quote book. The book would keep track of the best quotes said during the trip. Quotes were only put into the book after a vote from everyone to make sure it was truly worthy of "quote book status". Now some of these quotes will not make sense to you. Some of them are "You had to be there" quotes. I did my best though to give a quick recap of the situation so hopefully, you can enjoy the quotes as much as we do. Let the fun begin...
ABOUT ONE HOUR INTO TRIP: The 4 of us create nicknames. They are Raymond Del Seiler ("The Chairman"), Matthew William Bachman ("The Rapist"), Matthew Arthur Barnes ("The Promise"), and Jeffrey Michael Hirz ("The UTI")
11:44am ET, Dec. 27th
"So she has heard of a tow truck?" (Hirz)
--Asked during Bachman's story about his Winter Break fling, in which he describes his car being towed and him calling a girl to tell her about it
12:22pm ET, Dec. 27th
"...not so much loose but flexible" (Seiler)
--End of a statement about a certain girl's body part
1:04pm ET, Dec. 27th
"We're still an hour from Cincy" (Seiler)
"Yea, but only 9 miles from Seaman" (Barnes)
--My desperate attempt to say something funny for the quote book. Somehow got in.
2:02pm ET, Dec. 27th
"Damn you Macho Man" (Seiler)
--Said after Seiler finds out he got a flavored Slim Jim instead of the original
1:53pm CT, Dec. 27th
"YOU ARE NOT MY BODY" (Barnes)
--Said after constant questioning about something my body I presume...also was screamed inappropriately loud
3:04pm CT, Dec. 27th
"Little did I know..." (Hirz)
--Overheard by Seiler and I while watching a movie, Hirz describing his Winter Break fling and how he never saw it coming
7:13pm CT, Dec. 27th
"Keep your head on a swivel" (Boobie Bungalow DJ)
--Said after the dancer's shoe hit the floor hard, making a loud sound that makes Bachman almost jump out of his seat
9:19pm CT, Dec. 27th
"Smoke, Wendy's and strippers" (Bachman)
"There's nothing better" (Hirz)
--No explanation needed here
1:56am CT, Dec. 28th
"Fuck Thor" (Seiler)
--Running on fumes while driving on I-10, Seiler vents his frustration with the OU lightning detetction system
7:56pm CT, Dec. 29th
"Wow Hirz, you can really fit a lot in your mouth" (Bachman)
"Yea, and this time, it's not Kurt" (Barnes)
--Too long of a story to tell
5:32pm CT, Dec. 29th
"I guess you can't help being a dumbass" (Devin Simpson)
--Okla. St referee remarking about an idiot Men's Open player during his crew report. Now read it again in a real southern accent to get the true feel
8:26pm CT, Dec. 30th
"You guys could've come out there and said 'On the ready'" (Bachman)
--Said after we tell Bachman we've been waiting for him to stop talkin to his fling so that we can hit up Bourbon Street
8:57pm CT, Dec. 30th
"What the fuck's wrong with a man-thong?" (Josh Bell)
--Just one of the many quips from our buddy from Towson
1:58am CT, Dec. 31st
"Let's go to Baton Rouge" (Josh McNalley)
"No" (Bachman and Seiler)
"Let's just stay up ALL NIGHT!" (McNalley)
"NO" (Bachman and Seiler)
--Said during the drive back from Bourbon Street from McNalley in the backseat
2:22am CT, Dec. 31st
"I modeled this thing at Old Navy...and it looked damn good" (Barnes)
--Notice the time...said when discussing outfits to wear for New Year's
9:02pm CT, Dec. 31st
"He's like a clown that repeats what you say when you pull the string" (Shane Conti)
--Shane discussing McNalley's propensity to repeat jokes right after they've been told
9:03pm CT, Dec. 31st
"We should get a prostitute" (Seiler)
--Discussing our plans for the night
9:16pm CT, Dec. 31st
"We all wanna fuckin' get lit" (Hirz)
--Hirz, while wearing a shirt that says "Let's Get Lit", taking about what we all can agree upon
9:28pm CT, Dec. 31st
"He pinches people with his toes a lot" (Seiler)
--Seiler talking to others in the room about Hirz's bad habits
9:31pm CT, Dec. 31st
"Do that picture thing where you make a sad face" (Shane)
"Yea, so I can send it to my girl" (Hirz)
--Said in reference to a picture Hirz took on his phone and send to his fling earlier in the trip
10:45pm CT, Dec. 31st
"By midnight, you're blacked out...is that valid?" (Hirz)
"Hey, if you give me a fuckin deadline, I'll meet it" (Shane)
--Said while getting more beer for the room for the New Year's celebration
12:32pm CT, Jan. 1st
"I dunno, I was gonna bring a bunch of porn but oh well" (Baker)
--Said via text message after we inform Baker to only bring one bag due to lack of space in the van
4:06pm CT, Jan 1st
"That's what our tattoo should be...Mount Rushmore" (Seiler)
"I wanna be Abe Lincoln...he freed the slaves" (Barnes)
--Said during discussion of how we should get a tattoo to commemorate our 4-for-4 performance in New Orleans
6:16pm CT, Jan 1st
"There's a problem with the kitchen. All we have is pizza and fried foods" (Waitress)
--Said by the dumb waitress at Live Sports Cafe in Houston, TX as she informs us of the kitchen troubles
7:00pm CT, Jan 1st
"I'm just gonna lay this down here so she knows I didn't want tomatoes" (Bachman)
--Said while Bachman, in disgust, pushes his plate full of tomatoes to the edge of the table so the waitress can't miss it...somehow, I think she still didn't realize it
8:50pm CT, Jan 1st
"I like a man that does not lie. For you, I charge but regular rate." (Econo Lodge manager)
--Said after Seiler tells the manager that there are 4 people in the room instead of 2 as we talked about in the car
11:58pm CT, Jan 1st
"I can't wait for 4-on-4...and by 4-on-4, I mean softball" (Seiler)
--Just makes no sense...not then, not now
12:40am CT, Jan 2nd
"Do you know what's gonna be great about my wedding party?" (Barnes)
--Just a completely random comment, not really sure where I was going with it
2:22am CT, Jan 2nd
"Hirz, you are right" (Barnes)
--If you know me, this is a rarity for me that anyone is right, especially Hirz. It had to go in the quote book
12:45pm CT, Jan 2nd
"I've never had quail before...or my mom" (Hirz)
--Said while eating lunch at Texas Land and Cattle. They serve quail there.
12:15pm CT, Jan 3rd
"I'm gonna have to take a 20 minute shower just so my nuts can warm up" (Devin)
--Again, read and say out loud in a Southern accent. Said because it was frickin cold in Dallas the first day. We were all thinkin it...but Devin actually said it out loud
8:35pm CT, Jan 3rd
"Is that bug dead or just drunk?" (Seiler)
--Said while I found a bug in my beer. 10 seconds later, we found out the bug was simply drunk.
11:48am CT, Jan 4th
"Did you just put a glue stick to your lips?" (Seiler)
--Said when a fellow official is putting chapstick on her lips
12:22pm CT, Jan 4th
"I love our crew. We have big Matt, regular Matt and fun-size Matt" (Bachman)
--Said in reference to the three officials in Bachman's crew named Matt
3:00pm CT, Jan 5th
"There was consent...he bent over" (Hirz)
--Stop using your imagination...he's talking about how he got permission from Bachman to jump on his back for a piggy-back ride
10:16am CT, Jan 6th
"Hi Mom, just wanted to say I love you. Can I talk to Dad?" (Bachman)
--Said 5 minutes into the drive back home...with Robison behind the wheel. Trust me, it's scary.
16 hours later, we made it back to the ATH. The journey was over but with many memories and good times. Needless to say, OUIM worked hard (6 All-American awards). But trust me, we definitely played hard too. Here's hoping that next year sees the same results.
