GOD BLESS DR. PEPPER

If you have just survived midterms/finals, pat yourself on the back. You have just gone through long nights and days, study sessions that were as exciting as a Columbus Crew game and tests that were as ridiculously hard as Bob Wickman getting the side out in order. For myself, the hero of this week was Dr. Pepper. Yes, that sugar-filled, caffeinated pop got me through the week. Honestly, I don't like drinking pop, but this week it was necessary. So, if I pass these midterms with flying colors, I will thank Dr. Pepper. And you know the best part about Dr. Pepper, you don't have to wait in the doctor's office for an hour. You just need $1.25. That's pimp.

Anyways, for some people who are reading this, school is either done or just about to end in a couple weeks. To all of you, I am not jealous. Yes, I still have homework, essays, tests and lectures but you know what else I have: spring weekends in Athens, Ohio. Do they get any better? I don't think so. If you haven't been to Athens in the spring on a weekend, you're missin out. And honestly, great, you're home and what do you do? Even though I still have 5 more weeks of academics, there is not a jealous bone in my body for those of you starting your summer break. Enjoy yourself...but I really don't care.

Just some random funny stuff happened to me this week. I mean, funny stuff happens to me every week, hell, everyday, but this week saw some unusually strange things. I guess it started when a girl said I looked like Wayne Brady. Is that a compliment or an insult? That's up for debate. Anyways, the girl tells me I look familiar (clear attempt of flirtation). The sad part is well, I should look familiar since 4 hours before that encounter, I was sitting right behind her in class for 2 hours! So what do I do? Pretty much ignore her while she talks (I was still trying to figure out if the Wayne Brady thing was supposed to make me feel good) and promptly head up the stairs instead of taking the elevator that she gets into. Point of this story: I'm never gonna get a girlfriend if I stay this cruel, but come on, Wayne Brady?!

This week in PreCollege class, we went over things to say in a parents session. You know, sit in front of 40 pairs of eyes and talk about why your son/daughter is safe at OU. Or in other words, lie. I mean, I'm a tour guide here, lying is essential to my job. Heck, it might be a requirement. Well anyways, we had some practice questions thrown at us this week. One of the questions: "Can my daughter have sex in her room?" Yea, I know what you're thinkin. NO parent would ask this, but what if? Stay with me now. How do you answer this question? Playfully, as in "Sure she can, and anywhere else." Seriously, such as "Your daughter makes her own decisions but there is no rule against it." Or how about as a pervert, such as "Sir, she can have it her room, the hallway, my room. Well, speaking of that, what's she look like? And don't miss a detail." Honestly, this is the kind of stuff that cracks me up. Feel free to add your own answer to that question in the comments at the bottom of this post. I would love to hear them.

I guess I will end this post with some sports stuff. I mean, it does take up 95% of my life (the other 5% goes to reality TV). How bout them Indiana Pacers? Got no love from anyone for that Pistons-Pacers pick. Instead, all I get is grief about saying the Wiz are gonna take down the Cavs. Well, if my math is correct, the Cavs have lost home court and well, I guess we'll hafta see but I like my chances. Also, props to the Indians for playing like the Indians for once. I mean honestly, for awhile there, I thought the OU baseball team could give them a game, and that's sayin A LOT. And though I should not do this, I wanna give some credit to the Reds. They are playing well so far, especially when it comes to hitting the ball. I mean, Bronson Arroyo has one less homerun than Barry Bonds. Now the question is will the Reds make the playoffs?? Of course not. Will they finish with a winning record? Doubt it, but hey, Cincy fans should be used to that this year. Get excited for the season just to see it fall from under them in the end (Bengals, Bearcats). Sorry Cincinnatians, but it had to be said.

Closing quote for this week isn't as philosophical. Instead, it comes from a fortune cookie that I ate three weeks ago. What did the fortune inside say?

"Everyone agrees that you are the best"

I couldn't agree more. Who said fortune cookies were never right? That's it for now kids. Maybe a weekend wrap-up on Sunday but I doubt it. 6-page papers don't write themselves...unless you are on Ohio State athlete. Then, somehow they get written while you get wasted all weekend. Until next time, have a good weekend errbody and Hakuna Matata!