DAYS OF OUR LIVES

I know what you’re thinking…can’t he be more creative than that for a blog title? Well, the answer is yes but that phrase just seems so fitting after going through the last two weeks. As a young man at 20 years of age, life is supposed to be one of little worries. I mean, of course there’s the real world ahead but I mean, it’s college. Soak it up while you can. But it’s funny how your life can change in an instant. Your priorities change, your thought process changes, your whole world is just thrown for a loop. Well, that’s kinda been the two weeks for me.

I guess it all started two weeks ago (obviously). What I thought was a harmless phone call from a buddy turned into a phone call that made me take a step back. A former wrestler at my high school had died at the age of nineteen. 19! I remember giving this guy rides homes after practice, always bitching about how it was out of my way and that it would be the last time. Yet, every practice, without fail, he asked for a ride and I drove him the 4 minutes to his house. I look back at those moments and I am so glad that I had those rides with him because now, there are no more moments. Yea, we had fallen out of touch but I know if I saw him right now, we would have some great stories to tell each other. It just didn’t make sense either. The whole situation. And not only that but someone that young should not be dying. It just made me sick to my stomach.

After a weekend of trying to get the taste of his death out of my mouth, it just got worse. I get news that my best friend’s mom had a stroke. My immediate reaction was shock, followed by immediate prayer. I had already lost a friend at a young age. In no way could I lose one of my many “moms”. But God had other plans. The next day, I got the news that she had been called to heaven. Now, I’m the kind of guy that likes to stay positive and upbeat and well, you know, Hakuna Matata. But this one hit hard. Really hard. I was numb inside for over an hour. Life just didn’t make sense. It went back to that question “Why do the nicest people go?” The more I thought about it, the more I thought about my own life. I mean, am I truly living each day as if it were my last? Am I truly cherishing every moment with my friends and family? Again, these are things I shouldn’t be worrying about as a college student. But when you lose two people in a span of a week, you have no choice but to wonder.

The memorial service on Saturday for my best friend’s mom was exactly what I needed though. For what is normally a somber event, I was so at peace the entire time. I was surrounded by people who are always there for me, including my parents and best friends. I saw strength in my friends who had just lost their mother and that helped to put my mind at ease. I saw commitment and love (yes, I used the word) in their boyfriends for them as well. Always by their side throughout the ordeal. Most importantly though, I saw just how close we all are as friends. I wish it didn’t take the passing of a loved one for me to recognize it but it did. And the ironic thing is that my best friend’s mother was not one for the sappy stuff. She was more of the “don’t worry, be happy” kind. Grab a drink and enjoy life. And so while all week I was lamenting and somewhat depressed, it took her memorial service to remind me that life goes on and that she wants me to keep on enjoying life even though she won’t be there.

And so, I left that service thinking just that. It’s time for me to truly enjoy life. Yes, as each day goes by, there will be ups and downs, but hopefully more ups. I will have more struggles, more setbacks, more deaths but I’ve got to remember that in order to live a fulfilling life, not only must you be loved and respected by many, but you must also enjoy it yourself. Cherish every moment. Take some chances. See all you can see. And that brings me to right now. I wouldn’t say I have a “new” outlook on life but I have thought about this a lot since the memorial service. I am just 20 years old. Hopefully, I have at least 60 more years in me. In that 60 years, how am I going to enjoy life?

Step 1: Stop thinking that damn far ahead and enjoy the moment right now.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.