THE ART OF ARGUMENT
There are many things I love in life. I love my family, I love my friends, I love the Buckeyes and boy, do I love a good argument. Of course there are other things that could easily be on this list. I mean, I am a college student so I do love the weekend, the house parties, the chill nights and the overall good times. But there’s something about a good argument that really gets me going.
I don’t know when this love for arguments began but I would assume it was during high school. Why during high school? Well, let’s just say I didn’t agree with the teachings of my high school, specifically my religion class. If you didn’t know, I went to a Catholic school and by no means am I Catholic. So when I started feeling like I was slowly being converted into a Catholic, I started to stop agreeing and start forming an opinion that would be COMPLETELY opposite than the norm. Now I didn’t go denying God (I’m very much a Christian) or condemning Catholics and Catholicism (Many of my friends are Catholic) but I did begin to argue with others about trivial things such as why is the Virgin Mary so important and why do you all stand and sit so much during Mass? (I still think Catholics need to make up their damn minds on that one)
So anyways, the arguing began and ever since I’ve started, I’ve run with it. I’ve always told people that I could argue that the sky isn’t blue and ten minutes later, having you doubt if it actually is. Now, I don’t think I’m THAT good but I’ve gotten pretty good at it. But why? Because I manipulate things like no other. I’m pretty sure if I did a study on the arguments that I have, I’d probably find that I lie 5-10 times within the argument in an effort to make my point. I normally don’t condone lying but when you’re trying to win an argument, it can sometimes be necessary to get the other person doubting themselves.
My favorite way of manipulating is spewing out facts that aren’t close to being true. Yet if you cite one study or one game 15 years ago, no one is willing to call you out because they don’t wanna fear being wrong. A lot of people take pride in arguments so every word must be perfect. Myself, I just enjoy doing it so I could care less if my words are accurate. It’s not hard to correct yourself. Just say you slipped or that wasn’t the way I wanted to word it. That way, you can retract a statement that would’ve put you on a slippery slope to losing the argument and then change it to a winning one-liner that takes out the opposing party at the knees.
The great thing also about arguments is the variety of arguments you can have. From politics to sports, girls to reality shows, they can be funny or serious and last for minutes, hours, and even days. They can take place on-line, on the phone and in person (always the best). Most importantly though, they require you to think quickly and on your feet. There’s no time for long pauses (a sign of weakness) or quoting (shows you actually did research). It’s all about what you know OR what you can get the other person to think that you know.
Now in high school, I pretty much dominated most arguments. I had some great sports arguments with some friends who were just so bull-headed or lacked good arguing capabilities that they either said I won or just stopped because they knew they were out-manned. Then, I hit college and well, things got a little tougher. People were sharp and knew their stuff. I kept getting called out on my arguments. I met sports fans who had been watching as long as I have. I had met people who genuinely just knew more but most importantly, I began to lose my edge because I didn’t want to argue with the new people I had just met. See, some people think my arguments are a sign of hatred or anger towards that person. Instead, my sarcasm and want to argue is my way of saying I respect you as not only a friend but as a quality debater.
As I got to know people, I learned something else. Your closest friends will always be the ones who have the best counter arguments. What sucks is that here in Athens, the arguments that I would love to have everyday come few and far between. My best friends from home are, well home. My other friend went back to his home. That really only leaves me with one true friend who can argue with the best of them. So far, we’ve tussled over tables, girls and basketball rules. Each argument has been good and kept me fresh for when I replace Mike Wilbon on PTI. Plus, the great thing about close friends is that they are not afraid to tell you that you are dead wrong or afraid to hurt your feelings. That’s why I truly miss the great arguments with the friends from/at home.
So for anyone who reads this post, don’t be afraid to throw a good argument my way. It can be dumb or serious. It can deal with any topic. It can go as long as it wants or you bail on it at any point. I don’t really care. I just know that I look for arguments wherever I go (kinda like girlfriends too). So if you’re up for the challenge, bring it. And trust, I’m ready because I’m pretty sure the sky is looking more and more green every day
Friday, January 26, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
525,600 Minutes
Damn, 2007 kind of just crept up on me. I mean, it was a long creep, 365 days to be exact, but it did just show up all the sudden. After a new year, I always find myself looking back at the year that was and comparing to other years of my life. Of course, this is an inexact science. It is impossible for me to compare years to each other. I can barely compare months. Yet, I find myself doing this, see if the year measured up. So without further adieu, here’s my synopsis of the year 2006 in the life of Matt Barnes.
The year 2006 was a fun one and for many reasons. New friends, new experiences, and new achievements just like every year should have. This year thought, I went through a gamut of emotions. Ohio State got it kicked off on a good note, beating Notre Dame in a Fiesta Bowl that I will always remember as the one that always gave me one-up on my roommates. Ohio State basketball also played a big role in the excitement of the year. How about Big Ten championships for both the men and women? Not too shabby. Oh, and then don’t forget to add the 12-0 Buckeyes this year.
But enough about the Buckeyes, how bout them Bobcats? Yea, for once, I can brag about my own university’s football team. An amazing 2-0 start quickly soured to a 2-3 meltdown. But then, Frank Solich turned into a magician, guiding the Cats to 7 straight victories and a MAC East division title. I still think I’m dreaming this one up. Trust me, this team is not good. Not good at all but give this team some credit. It takes determination to be that bad and yet win nine games. Mad props to the team, Solich and the fans that continue to believe we will beat Southern Miss and actually establish a winning program. I’m hoping but let’s just say, we’ve got a better chance of pulling out troops in Iraq than have a consistent winning football program at OU.
Things at OU were amazing this year. Ranging from my fun History of Baseball Classes to my Officiating Classes, it wasn’t the most academically challenging but who the hell cares. At work, things went smooth. I was promoted from PA to Supervisor to Student Director, all in a four month period in Intramural Sports. I was offered the Gridiron Glory host position and then not 20 minutes later, offered a position as a PreCollege advisor. Even being a tour guide had its great moments, capped by my first ever e-mail from someone on my tour, thanking me for what I did.
Let me elaborate real quick on two of those items. PreCollege (or PC2K6) quite possibly was the best experience I have ever gone through. It kind of felt like summer camp, but with alcohol and open sections lists involved. It was exciting at times, frustrating at times, and exhiliarating at times. It put me through a wide range of emotions every day. It started with a rush of a new group of students, wide-eyed and ready for their college experience, as I once was. Then, it turned into frustration and patience as the list of open classes shrunk and the tour in the hot sun was full of complaints for tired teenagers. But it always worked out in the end, when I could take a big sigh of relief every time a student signed my poster and walked out with a schedule. And the cycle began all over again. The other was Gridiron Glory. If you watched the show, you saw how great of a product it was. Yes, I said great because this year’s show was. I was privileged to be a part of that show, let alone host it. It captured high school football in Southeast Ohio amazingly and after a week of hard work making sure it went perfect, it was great to see the product go on the air and look so damn good. Not to mention all the compliments I have received from the community about the show just makes it well worth the nights at the stations until 3am. I am so glad that 2007 has both the show and PC2K7 in it because it gives a LOT to look forward too.
And then there were those surprises. Fun times watching George Mason making their Final Four run, the thrill of watching the terribly hilarious TV Movie “Bird Flu in America”, the uncovering of America’s next great teen show “Falcon Beach”, getting 5 (should’ve been 6) officials to the National Tournament, and probably the best, reconnecting with one of my best friends in preschool by going to watch the Blue Jackets beat the Red Wings. And the seats weren’t that bad.
But with highlights also comes lowlights. This year some true ones. The consistent one has been my pathetic love life. Yea, this one has been redundant but you know, Hakuna Matata. Life goes on. That was just one of many disappointments ranging from a mediocre performance at a basketball extramural tournament, the loss in the Turkey Bowl and the rather boring Halloween 2006 in Athens (slowly losing its luster). The sports teams didn’t really get me excited as the Blue Jackets and Indians failed to make the postseason (again) while the Pacers were bounced in the first round of the NBA playoffs.
The two that truly stand out were my first-ever arrest and the loss of my friend’s mom. The arrest was well dumb. Shouldn’t have happened, plain and simple. The entire situation could have been prevented with a payment to AEP. But things happen and well, so do dumb decisions as this one was. I still laugh at the situation and how things ended up playing out but at the time, trust me, there was nothing comical. The disappointment seen in my friend’s faces was enough for me to want to punch myself. I felt sick in my stomach. Seeing their parents was even worse. I regret that event every day not because I got arrested, but because I roped all my friends into it as well. The other event, Mrs. Bierley’s passing, hit me even harder than the arrest. I have close connections with my friends and even their parents. So when I heard what happened, I immediately wanted to cry. I knew that she was in a better place but I’m not gonna lie, having her here was a blast and I wish she still was. She will always be missed but she will also always be remembered through her daughters, my friends.
And now, it’s time to compare. Again, an impossible feat. If I had to choose, I would honestly put this past year right up near the top. I met a TON of new friends that I hope will always have my back no matter where I go in life. I experienced things that I never thought I would such as getting arrested, hosting a football show and impacting the lives of first-year students. But above all, I achieved a lot. This is why 2006 was so nice. It started in Pensacola after a disappointing weekend for me officiating at the National Tournament. 2006 ended also in Pensacola, but this time, I was an All-American, one of the top 16 officials in the nation. That’s the kind of year it has been. Ups and downs but no matter how down it has become, it has always come back up. So now it’s time to look forward to 2007 and what it will bring. The obvious are GG2K7, PC2K7 and my 21st birthday. And no matter how bad or good 2007 is, I know that I’ll be able to look back on it when 2008 hits when I’m in New Orleans celebrating yet another new year. Life has taken me places I never thought I would go and you know, I’m sure enjoying the ride.
Damn, 2007 kind of just crept up on me. I mean, it was a long creep, 365 days to be exact, but it did just show up all the sudden. After a new year, I always find myself looking back at the year that was and comparing to other years of my life. Of course, this is an inexact science. It is impossible for me to compare years to each other. I can barely compare months. Yet, I find myself doing this, see if the year measured up. So without further adieu, here’s my synopsis of the year 2006 in the life of Matt Barnes.
The year 2006 was a fun one and for many reasons. New friends, new experiences, and new achievements just like every year should have. This year thought, I went through a gamut of emotions. Ohio State got it kicked off on a good note, beating Notre Dame in a Fiesta Bowl that I will always remember as the one that always gave me one-up on my roommates. Ohio State basketball also played a big role in the excitement of the year. How about Big Ten championships for both the men and women? Not too shabby. Oh, and then don’t forget to add the 12-0 Buckeyes this year.
But enough about the Buckeyes, how bout them Bobcats? Yea, for once, I can brag about my own university’s football team. An amazing 2-0 start quickly soured to a 2-3 meltdown. But then, Frank Solich turned into a magician, guiding the Cats to 7 straight victories and a MAC East division title. I still think I’m dreaming this one up. Trust me, this team is not good. Not good at all but give this team some credit. It takes determination to be that bad and yet win nine games. Mad props to the team, Solich and the fans that continue to believe we will beat Southern Miss and actually establish a winning program. I’m hoping but let’s just say, we’ve got a better chance of pulling out troops in Iraq than have a consistent winning football program at OU.
Things at OU were amazing this year. Ranging from my fun History of Baseball Classes to my Officiating Classes, it wasn’t the most academically challenging but who the hell cares. At work, things went smooth. I was promoted from PA to Supervisor to Student Director, all in a four month period in Intramural Sports. I was offered the Gridiron Glory host position and then not 20 minutes later, offered a position as a PreCollege advisor. Even being a tour guide had its great moments, capped by my first ever e-mail from someone on my tour, thanking me for what I did.
Let me elaborate real quick on two of those items. PreCollege (or PC2K6) quite possibly was the best experience I have ever gone through. It kind of felt like summer camp, but with alcohol and open sections lists involved. It was exciting at times, frustrating at times, and exhiliarating at times. It put me through a wide range of emotions every day. It started with a rush of a new group of students, wide-eyed and ready for their college experience, as I once was. Then, it turned into frustration and patience as the list of open classes shrunk and the tour in the hot sun was full of complaints for tired teenagers. But it always worked out in the end, when I could take a big sigh of relief every time a student signed my poster and walked out with a schedule. And the cycle began all over again. The other was Gridiron Glory. If you watched the show, you saw how great of a product it was. Yes, I said great because this year’s show was. I was privileged to be a part of that show, let alone host it. It captured high school football in Southeast Ohio amazingly and after a week of hard work making sure it went perfect, it was great to see the product go on the air and look so damn good. Not to mention all the compliments I have received from the community about the show just makes it well worth the nights at the stations until 3am. I am so glad that 2007 has both the show and PC2K7 in it because it gives a LOT to look forward too.
And then there were those surprises. Fun times watching George Mason making their Final Four run, the thrill of watching the terribly hilarious TV Movie “Bird Flu in America”, the uncovering of America’s next great teen show “Falcon Beach”, getting 5 (should’ve been 6) officials to the National Tournament, and probably the best, reconnecting with one of my best friends in preschool by going to watch the Blue Jackets beat the Red Wings. And the seats weren’t that bad.
But with highlights also comes lowlights. This year some true ones. The consistent one has been my pathetic love life. Yea, this one has been redundant but you know, Hakuna Matata. Life goes on. That was just one of many disappointments ranging from a mediocre performance at a basketball extramural tournament, the loss in the Turkey Bowl and the rather boring Halloween 2006 in Athens (slowly losing its luster). The sports teams didn’t really get me excited as the Blue Jackets and Indians failed to make the postseason (again) while the Pacers were bounced in the first round of the NBA playoffs.
The two that truly stand out were my first-ever arrest and the loss of my friend’s mom. The arrest was well dumb. Shouldn’t have happened, plain and simple. The entire situation could have been prevented with a payment to AEP. But things happen and well, so do dumb decisions as this one was. I still laugh at the situation and how things ended up playing out but at the time, trust me, there was nothing comical. The disappointment seen in my friend’s faces was enough for me to want to punch myself. I felt sick in my stomach. Seeing their parents was even worse. I regret that event every day not because I got arrested, but because I roped all my friends into it as well. The other event, Mrs. Bierley’s passing, hit me even harder than the arrest. I have close connections with my friends and even their parents. So when I heard what happened, I immediately wanted to cry. I knew that she was in a better place but I’m not gonna lie, having her here was a blast and I wish she still was. She will always be missed but she will also always be remembered through her daughters, my friends.
And now, it’s time to compare. Again, an impossible feat. If I had to choose, I would honestly put this past year right up near the top. I met a TON of new friends that I hope will always have my back no matter where I go in life. I experienced things that I never thought I would such as getting arrested, hosting a football show and impacting the lives of first-year students. But above all, I achieved a lot. This is why 2006 was so nice. It started in Pensacola after a disappointing weekend for me officiating at the National Tournament. 2006 ended also in Pensacola, but this time, I was an All-American, one of the top 16 officials in the nation. That’s the kind of year it has been. Ups and downs but no matter how down it has become, it has always come back up. So now it’s time to look forward to 2007 and what it will bring. The obvious are GG2K7, PC2K7 and my 21st birthday. And no matter how bad or good 2007 is, I know that I’ll be able to look back on it when 2008 hits when I’m in New Orleans celebrating yet another new year. Life has taken me places I never thought I would go and you know, I’m sure enjoying the ride.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Get that stick out of your ***
I’m not sure if you know this or not, but I am a 20 year old student in college. I have lofty goals for myself and am looking forward to my future. I know the real world will kick my ass because the reality will hit that well, it’s not that much fun anymore. I recognize that. I understand that maturity and professionalism is key in the real world. But wait, I am a 20 year old college student in college. Ah, I see now.
OK, so where am I going with this? It’s a long story but I’m gonna try to explain in a much shorter and entertaining blog entry instead. The more I go through college, the more I see that adults cannot connect with people my age. Sad I know, since they once were my age, enjoying every second of college, knowing that those 4-5 years were magical. Yes, magical. But now that they are adults, it’s as if they forget those times. All they can focus on is our future and how THEY can shape OUR future. Now, I’m all for role models and life lessons but I am also for making my own decisions and learning from my own mistakes. Would you like some examples? I thought so. Read on.
I guess this whole thing started in high school with student council. I was the VP of what was probably the best student council my HS has ever seen. Plain and simple, we got shit done. At least, when we were allowed. My school had the dumbest rules when it came to some things. Guys can’t have braids because it’s considered cross-dressing. All socks must be visible. No shorts ever even when the AC goes out in the school. I could go on and on but I won’t because I did enjoy my high school experience. But sometimes, it would be like pulling teeth just to get something we wanted. And obviously, whatever we asked for was for the good of the students. But again, the administration didn’t look at it that way. Instead of giving us the opportunity to make good decisions and maybe learn from some mistakes, they just made decisions for us. Such as now, the prom includes dinner. Don’t wanna attend the dinner? No problem, but you’re paying for it anyways. Frickin ridiculous.
Then, how bout my scholarship? I know, this may shock some people. Why is Barnes complaining…he gets paid to go to school. Trust me guys, I’ve heard your jokes but hear me out now. Just this past week, my scholarship laid down some laws. To give you some background, I do go to school on full scholarship and then some. I have to sign a contract as well that states that I will keep up with the GPA requirement, not get in trouble, attend all meetings, etc… Well, this year, the program has been a bit power-hungry. First of all, we sign a contract that says nothing about community service, but then we have to a mandatory six hours. Hmmm, odd. I’ll do it, but that came from nowhere. Next up, the scholarship says we must inform them when we add or drop a class. So, if I drop basketball for broomball, they need to know. WHY? Do they not trust me? I mean, the money runs out in four years so if I screw myself over and don’t get done in four years, it’s my money now. And what’s the final straw? How bout they told us this week that they don’t want us getting jobs. WHAT?! This one struck a chord with me. As they put it, we are scholars and should be focusing on our studies. God forbid we try to have a life outside of that though. A life with a little bit of responsibility and spending money. You know, something to pay cell phone bills with, car insurance, buy beverages, whatever. So if we get a job, guess who needs to know? Again, ridiculous.
The last one isn’t as dramatic but after the scholarship one, it really got to me. As we run our big program for Intramurals, I get a lot of grief for announcements not even made by me. The announcements were questionable and they were made to a crowd of about 100 people. So I understand some of their feelings. But without setting any guidelines of what was too far, it’s hard to put fault on someone for making an announcement they see as funny. I didn’t think they crossed any lines because there were no lines drawn. Not only that, but the only people who did not find the jokes funny were those who weren’t my age. Now are they out of touch? Maybe (though many times, they aren’t). This night though, it was frustrating because I was receiving fault for what other people did. And then what they did wasn’t really wrong since there was nothing set as to what was right and what was wrong.
I guess what I am trying to get at here is that adults are trying too hard to shape people my age into what they want. They are unwilling to let us learn from mistakes OR make our own decisions. They tend to be out of touch with our generation and do not consider the world from our point of view anymore. Even though, all had the point of view before. And don’t get me wrong. I love my high school, scholarship program, and my job but it can be frustrating sometimes. It’s not that I have a problem with authority. I just have a problem when the authority thinks a 20 year old college student can’t make their own decision. Or when they do, they immediately believe that it is invalid. Or get mad when the college student makes a decision they don’t like when no guidelines were set. Instead of getting mad, make it a learning opportunity.
I don’t know what the solution to this is but I do know this. I am capable of making my own decisions. I will make many good ones and plenty of bad ones. But let me make them. Support me in some so that I can see how it carries out. Do not lash out if I make a bad decision. Instead, just tell me what was wrong about it. The great thing about college is that it can kind be a bubble. Things that happen during these 4-5 great years can truly stay there for eternity. So let us make our mistakes now. That way, we don’t make them in the real world. If I mess up a class, it’s my fault. If I can’t handle a job and my classes, I can decide whether or not to drop classes or quit my job. I just wish some people would take that stick out their *** and allow people my age to live. Let us do what we do. No matter what, we are in control of our lives. We shape it into what we want to. So please, let us be. Have faith in us. We can make good decisions…if you let us.
You know the drill. Until next time, HAKUNA MATATA
I’m not sure if you know this or not, but I am a 20 year old student in college. I have lofty goals for myself and am looking forward to my future. I know the real world will kick my ass because the reality will hit that well, it’s not that much fun anymore. I recognize that. I understand that maturity and professionalism is key in the real world. But wait, I am a 20 year old college student in college. Ah, I see now.
OK, so where am I going with this? It’s a long story but I’m gonna try to explain in a much shorter and entertaining blog entry instead. The more I go through college, the more I see that adults cannot connect with people my age. Sad I know, since they once were my age, enjoying every second of college, knowing that those 4-5 years were magical. Yes, magical. But now that they are adults, it’s as if they forget those times. All they can focus on is our future and how THEY can shape OUR future. Now, I’m all for role models and life lessons but I am also for making my own decisions and learning from my own mistakes. Would you like some examples? I thought so. Read on.
I guess this whole thing started in high school with student council. I was the VP of what was probably the best student council my HS has ever seen. Plain and simple, we got shit done. At least, when we were allowed. My school had the dumbest rules when it came to some things. Guys can’t have braids because it’s considered cross-dressing. All socks must be visible. No shorts ever even when the AC goes out in the school. I could go on and on but I won’t because I did enjoy my high school experience. But sometimes, it would be like pulling teeth just to get something we wanted. And obviously, whatever we asked for was for the good of the students. But again, the administration didn’t look at it that way. Instead of giving us the opportunity to make good decisions and maybe learn from some mistakes, they just made decisions for us. Such as now, the prom includes dinner. Don’t wanna attend the dinner? No problem, but you’re paying for it anyways. Frickin ridiculous.
Then, how bout my scholarship? I know, this may shock some people. Why is Barnes complaining…he gets paid to go to school. Trust me guys, I’ve heard your jokes but hear me out now. Just this past week, my scholarship laid down some laws. To give you some background, I do go to school on full scholarship and then some. I have to sign a contract as well that states that I will keep up with the GPA requirement, not get in trouble, attend all meetings, etc… Well, this year, the program has been a bit power-hungry. First of all, we sign a contract that says nothing about community service, but then we have to a mandatory six hours. Hmmm, odd. I’ll do it, but that came from nowhere. Next up, the scholarship says we must inform them when we add or drop a class. So, if I drop basketball for broomball, they need to know. WHY? Do they not trust me? I mean, the money runs out in four years so if I screw myself over and don’t get done in four years, it’s my money now. And what’s the final straw? How bout they told us this week that they don’t want us getting jobs. WHAT?! This one struck a chord with me. As they put it, we are scholars and should be focusing on our studies. God forbid we try to have a life outside of that though. A life with a little bit of responsibility and spending money. You know, something to pay cell phone bills with, car insurance, buy beverages, whatever. So if we get a job, guess who needs to know? Again, ridiculous.
The last one isn’t as dramatic but after the scholarship one, it really got to me. As we run our big program for Intramurals, I get a lot of grief for announcements not even made by me. The announcements were questionable and they were made to a crowd of about 100 people. So I understand some of their feelings. But without setting any guidelines of what was too far, it’s hard to put fault on someone for making an announcement they see as funny. I didn’t think they crossed any lines because there were no lines drawn. Not only that, but the only people who did not find the jokes funny were those who weren’t my age. Now are they out of touch? Maybe (though many times, they aren’t). This night though, it was frustrating because I was receiving fault for what other people did. And then what they did wasn’t really wrong since there was nothing set as to what was right and what was wrong.
I guess what I am trying to get at here is that adults are trying too hard to shape people my age into what they want. They are unwilling to let us learn from mistakes OR make our own decisions. They tend to be out of touch with our generation and do not consider the world from our point of view anymore. Even though, all had the point of view before. And don’t get me wrong. I love my high school, scholarship program, and my job but it can be frustrating sometimes. It’s not that I have a problem with authority. I just have a problem when the authority thinks a 20 year old college student can’t make their own decision. Or when they do, they immediately believe that it is invalid. Or get mad when the college student makes a decision they don’t like when no guidelines were set. Instead of getting mad, make it a learning opportunity.
I don’t know what the solution to this is but I do know this. I am capable of making my own decisions. I will make many good ones and plenty of bad ones. But let me make them. Support me in some so that I can see how it carries out. Do not lash out if I make a bad decision. Instead, just tell me what was wrong about it. The great thing about college is that it can kind be a bubble. Things that happen during these 4-5 great years can truly stay there for eternity. So let us make our mistakes now. That way, we don’t make them in the real world. If I mess up a class, it’s my fault. If I can’t handle a job and my classes, I can decide whether or not to drop classes or quit my job. I just wish some people would take that stick out their *** and allow people my age to live. Let us do what we do. No matter what, we are in control of our lives. We shape it into what we want to. So please, let us be. Have faith in us. We can make good decisions…if you let us.
You know the drill. Until next time, HAKUNA MATATA
Sunday, October 29, 2006
A TRUE FRIEND....ACCORDING TO ME
So, I just went through my third Halloween here at OU. Yea, literally just got done with it. Did I get wasted? Not really. I've learned that of all the days to get sloppy, Halloween is not the day. The student population almost triples, the amount of police double, and the amount of arrests, well, let's just say there are more than most weekends. So what does one do on a Halloween night in Athens? Good question. The answer: enjoy yourself. That could mean get sloppy drunk, it could mean go uptown and look at ridiculous costumes, it could mean go to a dance at Baker Center or it could simply be just have a good time with some friends. For me, this Halloweenwas an odd one. Let me tell you why.
First of all, this Halloween started earlier than others. Startig in mid-afternoon with a power hour, I got the ball rolling. Yes, I didn;t have much in my stomach but it felt right to get going early. I enjoyed the time, chillin with a best bud and his friend, just casually drinking while watching some college football. I mean, seriously, you can't ask for much more. Then, we all decided, let's take a cat nap and wake up when more peeps get here. That ended up meanig have them wake us up when they walk in unexpectedly but hey, whatever works.
The time with the new peepswas kind of a blur because well, to be frank, it wasn't that much fun because of a weird feeling in the place that kind of dampened the mood for me. The sad thing is that the feeling should not have affected me but for some reason it did and as a friend, I felt like I should back him up completely and help him out. So when it was time to leave the apartment for the Halloween festival uptown and elsewhere, I was glad to see a group of people, especially one person, go with us to go have a good time.
Instead of recapping the enitre rest of the night, I'm gonna fast-forward to the part that matters. The part where I began to figure out what a true friend is. I know, it's odd that I figure this shit out on a night when I am supposed to not remember anything but again, Halloween isn't a big deal for me. Anyways, the moment came when I, self-admittedly, brought up something that I was completely wrong about. That's when my friend did something I didn't really expect him to do: tod me I WAS WRONG. I kinda took a step back on this, halfway thinking he was joking. I mean, did my own friend NOT support my decision? I was actually getting mad and then I talked to his best friend and after talking to him, it made sense. Not only was I wrong, but he was proving to me that he was a true friend.
So what is a true friend? Well, get rid of Webster's Dicionary and just read my take on this. In my mind, a true friend is one that respects you. Of course, this is an obvious one but sometimes, this can be tougher than you think. Friends do some dumb things AND believe in some odd things, things you may completely disagree in. The trick is though as a good friend, you back them up in what they believe in. UNLESS, bringing me to my second point, they are completely wrong. This can be tough for friends, because when you have a strong friendship with someone, the last thing you want is to end it over a dumb argument or criticism. But when a friend criticizes my thought process or points an inconsistency in my morals, it means a lot to me because that means they care about what I'm doing. They could easily turn their head OR just be a bobblehead doll and just nod to everything I say. Thankfully though, there are true friends who are willing to speak up and tell you things straight up, without reservation. The last thing about a true friend is that they're always there for ya. In this day and age, it's tough to find that kind of commitment to a friendship, especially once relationships with boyfriends/girlfriends get involved. It's jut pretty damn cool to know there's always a friend you can talk to about anything, whether it pertains to school, work, religion, family, friends, or just whatever.
So what does this all mean? I'm not really sure. I don't know ifI have really spelled out anything but I think I have helped clarify what exactly goes behind a true friend. True friends are hard to ome by and then even harder to keep. Stuff happens, no matter how big or small, that can ruin a friendship within seconds. That's why it is so important to have those best friends you can talk to whenever needed. For those moments in life where you need a second opinion on something or just want to vent about anything, having that true friend makes the expereience all the more better.
For now though, I digress because of time considerations but I do want to remind all those reading this that being a true friend means more than just leaving Facebook wall message. It means so much more. HAKUNA MATATA.
So, I just went through my third Halloween here at OU. Yea, literally just got done with it. Did I get wasted? Not really. I've learned that of all the days to get sloppy, Halloween is not the day. The student population almost triples, the amount of police double, and the amount of arrests, well, let's just say there are more than most weekends. So what does one do on a Halloween night in Athens? Good question. The answer: enjoy yourself. That could mean get sloppy drunk, it could mean go uptown and look at ridiculous costumes, it could mean go to a dance at Baker Center or it could simply be just have a good time with some friends. For me, this Halloweenwas an odd one. Let me tell you why.
First of all, this Halloween started earlier than others. Startig in mid-afternoon with a power hour, I got the ball rolling. Yes, I didn;t have much in my stomach but it felt right to get going early. I enjoyed the time, chillin with a best bud and his friend, just casually drinking while watching some college football. I mean, seriously, you can't ask for much more. Then, we all decided, let's take a cat nap and wake up when more peeps get here. That ended up meanig have them wake us up when they walk in unexpectedly but hey, whatever works.
The time with the new peepswas kind of a blur because well, to be frank, it wasn't that much fun because of a weird feeling in the place that kind of dampened the mood for me. The sad thing is that the feeling should not have affected me but for some reason it did and as a friend, I felt like I should back him up completely and help him out. So when it was time to leave the apartment for the Halloween festival uptown and elsewhere, I was glad to see a group of people, especially one person, go with us to go have a good time.
Instead of recapping the enitre rest of the night, I'm gonna fast-forward to the part that matters. The part where I began to figure out what a true friend is. I know, it's odd that I figure this shit out on a night when I am supposed to not remember anything but again, Halloween isn't a big deal for me. Anyways, the moment came when I, self-admittedly, brought up something that I was completely wrong about. That's when my friend did something I didn't really expect him to do: tod me I WAS WRONG. I kinda took a step back on this, halfway thinking he was joking. I mean, did my own friend NOT support my decision? I was actually getting mad and then I talked to his best friend and after talking to him, it made sense. Not only was I wrong, but he was proving to me that he was a true friend.
So what is a true friend? Well, get rid of Webster's Dicionary and just read my take on this. In my mind, a true friend is one that respects you. Of course, this is an obvious one but sometimes, this can be tougher than you think. Friends do some dumb things AND believe in some odd things, things you may completely disagree in. The trick is though as a good friend, you back them up in what they believe in. UNLESS, bringing me to my second point, they are completely wrong. This can be tough for friends, because when you have a strong friendship with someone, the last thing you want is to end it over a dumb argument or criticism. But when a friend criticizes my thought process or points an inconsistency in my morals, it means a lot to me because that means they care about what I'm doing. They could easily turn their head OR just be a bobblehead doll and just nod to everything I say. Thankfully though, there are true friends who are willing to speak up and tell you things straight up, without reservation. The last thing about a true friend is that they're always there for ya. In this day and age, it's tough to find that kind of commitment to a friendship, especially once relationships with boyfriends/girlfriends get involved. It's jut pretty damn cool to know there's always a friend you can talk to about anything, whether it pertains to school, work, religion, family, friends, or just whatever.
So what does this all mean? I'm not really sure. I don't know ifI have really spelled out anything but I think I have helped clarify what exactly goes behind a true friend. True friends are hard to ome by and then even harder to keep. Stuff happens, no matter how big or small, that can ruin a friendship within seconds. That's why it is so important to have those best friends you can talk to whenever needed. For those moments in life where you need a second opinion on something or just want to vent about anything, having that true friend makes the expereience all the more better.
For now though, I digress because of time considerations but I do want to remind all those reading this that being a true friend means more than just leaving Facebook wall message. It means so much more. HAKUNA MATATA.
Friday, October 06, 2006
DAYS OF OUR LIVES
I know what you’re thinking…can’t he be more creative than that for a blog title? Well, the answer is yes but that phrase just seems so fitting after going through the last two weeks. As a young man at 20 years of age, life is supposed to be one of little worries. I mean, of course there’s the real world ahead but I mean, it’s college. Soak it up while you can. But it’s funny how your life can change in an instant. Your priorities change, your thought process changes, your whole world is just thrown for a loop. Well, that’s kinda been the two weeks for me.
I guess it all started two weeks ago (obviously). What I thought was a harmless phone call from a buddy turned into a phone call that made me take a step back. A former wrestler at my high school had died at the age of nineteen. 19! I remember giving this guy rides homes after practice, always bitching about how it was out of my way and that it would be the last time. Yet, every practice, without fail, he asked for a ride and I drove him the 4 minutes to his house. I look back at those moments and I am so glad that I had those rides with him because now, there are no more moments. Yea, we had fallen out of touch but I know if I saw him right now, we would have some great stories to tell each other. It just didn’t make sense either. The whole situation. And not only that but someone that young should not be dying. It just made me sick to my stomach.
After a weekend of trying to get the taste of his death out of my mouth, it just got worse. I get news that my best friend’s mom had a stroke. My immediate reaction was shock, followed by immediate prayer. I had already lost a friend at a young age. In no way could I lose one of my many “moms”. But God had other plans. The next day, I got the news that she had been called to heaven. Now, I’m the kind of guy that likes to stay positive and upbeat and well, you know, Hakuna Matata. But this one hit hard. Really hard. I was numb inside for over an hour. Life just didn’t make sense. It went back to that question “Why do the nicest people go?” The more I thought about it, the more I thought about my own life. I mean, am I truly living each day as if it were my last? Am I truly cherishing every moment with my friends and family? Again, these are things I shouldn’t be worrying about as a college student. But when you lose two people in a span of a week, you have no choice but to wonder.
The memorial service on Saturday for my best friend’s mom was exactly what I needed though. For what is normally a somber event, I was so at peace the entire time. I was surrounded by people who are always there for me, including my parents and best friends. I saw strength in my friends who had just lost their mother and that helped to put my mind at ease. I saw commitment and love (yes, I used the word) in their boyfriends for them as well. Always by their side throughout the ordeal. Most importantly though, I saw just how close we all are as friends. I wish it didn’t take the passing of a loved one for me to recognize it but it did. And the ironic thing is that my best friend’s mother was not one for the sappy stuff. She was more of the “don’t worry, be happy” kind. Grab a drink and enjoy life. And so while all week I was lamenting and somewhat depressed, it took her memorial service to remind me that life goes on and that she wants me to keep on enjoying life even though she won’t be there.
And so, I left that service thinking just that. It’s time for me to truly enjoy life. Yes, as each day goes by, there will be ups and downs, but hopefully more ups. I will have more struggles, more setbacks, more deaths but I’ve got to remember that in order to live a fulfilling life, not only must you be loved and respected by many, but you must also enjoy it yourself. Cherish every moment. Take some chances. See all you can see. And that brings me to right now. I wouldn’t say I have a “new” outlook on life but I have thought about this a lot since the memorial service. I am just 20 years old. Hopefully, I have at least 60 more years in me. In that 60 years, how am I going to enjoy life?
Step 1: Stop thinking that damn far ahead and enjoy the moment right now.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
I know what you’re thinking…can’t he be more creative than that for a blog title? Well, the answer is yes but that phrase just seems so fitting after going through the last two weeks. As a young man at 20 years of age, life is supposed to be one of little worries. I mean, of course there’s the real world ahead but I mean, it’s college. Soak it up while you can. But it’s funny how your life can change in an instant. Your priorities change, your thought process changes, your whole world is just thrown for a loop. Well, that’s kinda been the two weeks for me.
I guess it all started two weeks ago (obviously). What I thought was a harmless phone call from a buddy turned into a phone call that made me take a step back. A former wrestler at my high school had died at the age of nineteen. 19! I remember giving this guy rides homes after practice, always bitching about how it was out of my way and that it would be the last time. Yet, every practice, without fail, he asked for a ride and I drove him the 4 minutes to his house. I look back at those moments and I am so glad that I had those rides with him because now, there are no more moments. Yea, we had fallen out of touch but I know if I saw him right now, we would have some great stories to tell each other. It just didn’t make sense either. The whole situation. And not only that but someone that young should not be dying. It just made me sick to my stomach.
After a weekend of trying to get the taste of his death out of my mouth, it just got worse. I get news that my best friend’s mom had a stroke. My immediate reaction was shock, followed by immediate prayer. I had already lost a friend at a young age. In no way could I lose one of my many “moms”. But God had other plans. The next day, I got the news that she had been called to heaven. Now, I’m the kind of guy that likes to stay positive and upbeat and well, you know, Hakuna Matata. But this one hit hard. Really hard. I was numb inside for over an hour. Life just didn’t make sense. It went back to that question “Why do the nicest people go?” The more I thought about it, the more I thought about my own life. I mean, am I truly living each day as if it were my last? Am I truly cherishing every moment with my friends and family? Again, these are things I shouldn’t be worrying about as a college student. But when you lose two people in a span of a week, you have no choice but to wonder.
The memorial service on Saturday for my best friend’s mom was exactly what I needed though. For what is normally a somber event, I was so at peace the entire time. I was surrounded by people who are always there for me, including my parents and best friends. I saw strength in my friends who had just lost their mother and that helped to put my mind at ease. I saw commitment and love (yes, I used the word) in their boyfriends for them as well. Always by their side throughout the ordeal. Most importantly though, I saw just how close we all are as friends. I wish it didn’t take the passing of a loved one for me to recognize it but it did. And the ironic thing is that my best friend’s mother was not one for the sappy stuff. She was more of the “don’t worry, be happy” kind. Grab a drink and enjoy life. And so while all week I was lamenting and somewhat depressed, it took her memorial service to remind me that life goes on and that she wants me to keep on enjoying life even though she won’t be there.
And so, I left that service thinking just that. It’s time for me to truly enjoy life. Yes, as each day goes by, there will be ups and downs, but hopefully more ups. I will have more struggles, more setbacks, more deaths but I’ve got to remember that in order to live a fulfilling life, not only must you be loved and respected by many, but you must also enjoy it yourself. Cherish every moment. Take some chances. See all you can see. And that brings me to right now. I wouldn’t say I have a “new” outlook on life but I have thought about this a lot since the memorial service. I am just 20 years old. Hopefully, I have at least 60 more years in me. In that 60 years, how am I going to enjoy life?
Step 1: Stop thinking that damn far ahead and enjoy the moment right now.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)